I’m guessing that Paramount Pictures wasn’t too proud to be the distributor of movies that generally revolve around the premise of boob-fondling and bloodletting, and only after four Friday the 13th films they were willing to forsake revenue in favor of not appearing as the endorser of “hack” cinema (I love puns too much). I would surmise that’s the main reason Jason gets his cranium sliced open at the end of The Final Chapter and left for dead: it was an ego thing among movie executives. What other reason could there be for deciding to stop making Friday the 13th movies when they’re pretty much guaranteed to make a decent profit. Look at these statistics from Wikipedia that show the box office revenues vs. the actual budgets of all of the Friday the 13th movies:

It wasn’t until Part 6 that the Friday films started making less than 20 mil, but since the budgets for the early movies were so low that’s still a good profit. I don’t however get why the budget for part 8 was 5 million; all the trash and barrels of fake toxic waste they used for the badly constructed New York City sets must have been pretty expensive. Regardless of these statistics, Paramount must’ve assumed that basically recreating the same type of movie (people getting killed in a campground) over and over would appear artless and become tedious to moviegoers, thus Jason bought it.

Well he bought it until Paramount decided to forsake their image in favor of revenue, and decided to continue production of the franchise with Friday the 13th part V: A New Beginning (isn’t a “new” beginning just a “regular” beginning?), and Jason was back…well kinda.

I’m personally putting all the blame on Part V for the subsequent lack of income brought in from Friday the 13th films part 6 through 8 and New Line Cinema’s part 9 and 10 (I’m excluding Freddy vs. Jason – It’s not a real Friday the 13th movie). This is primarily due to the fact that Paramount Pictures thought that turning the Friday the 13th franchise into a Scooby-Doo murder mystery with titty shots was going to restore those 30 million plus Friday the 13th years – WRONG MOVE. They lost respect and that affected Jason for several years. People want the real deal Jason Voorhees…But they killed him off…So how do you revive the character that people want to see when he’s dead? Well it could develop negative criticism from some fans, but there’s still one last hope…

Dawn of the Zombie Jason

Yes part 6 brought back Jason from the dead with a Frankenstein-esque lightning bolt, and in that seemingly innocent homage to classic horror Jason Voorhees was suddenly no longer the Jason Voorhees of part 1-4. From part 6 on the character would forever be emblazoned as “zombie” Jason: decaying, grey-skinned, maggoty, ripped clothing, moldy, rotten Jason under the signature hockey-mask. Zombie Jason also further developed the character’s “supernatural" abilities like super-strength and teleportation (mostly in part 8), and also allowed liberties with how disgusting and decomposed Jason’s face would look under the mask. Although not as interesting as human Jason in my opinion, creating the zombie form of Jason was a necessary move for the character’s progress and evolution; and the overall composition of zombie Jason added supernatural qualities that gave fans the opportunity to also view Jason as inhuman and demonic. He’s a “corporeal specter,” or some kind of evil spirit encased in Jason’s physical being; yet despite this encasement he retains the ability to exceed all mortal boundaries for the sake of a murderous cursed crusade. That’s my theory on the general structure of zombie Jason and yes I have thought about this shit way too much. But don’t let my disturbingly thorough analysis detour you from the next submission into the best Jason toy for representing the character and his unwavering commitment; and in the case of zombie Jason's attributes, the winning toy is…

This is a tough decision. The best zombie Jason toy is definitely a choice between part 6 and 7. Part 6 is a more fun entry in the franchise and has the most humor, but I’m going with the part 7 toy for my zombie Jason representation. Why? It’s simple really: because in part 6 Jason has a utility belt.

Yep, he has a utility belt complete with throwing darts, a Rambo bowie knife, machete sheath, and a compass to navigate the dense forests of Crystal Lake (I’m assuming). Oh yeah and to prevent Jason’s hands from getting calloused while wielding one of the several weapons throughout the film he’s also made sure to pick up a pair of gloves for protection. Jason taking time to put on a mask to hide his hideous face: reasonably acceptable. Jason taking time to steal a utility belt off of one of his victims, put it on, and then make sure to pick up some gloves for his hands: stupid even for Friday the 13th standards. And one more problem with 6: has anyone else noticed that Jason looks fat? Just look at the above picture. Jason’s pants look a little too tight for a person that has supposedly been rotting away in a grave for several years. Maybe Jason is devoted to killing his sperm count as well as horny teens.

Friday the 13th part VII: The New Blood Jason Figure

I’m being a little biased here with the part 7 toy but this is the Friday the 13th movie that allowed me to develop my initial love of the character. Back in the days when people didn’t care when kids watched R-rated movies, part 7 was definitely on my top 5 rentals as a kid. Part seven, like every Friday the 13th movie, has its flaws, but this installment did the best job at making Jason look truly like an angry monster; and he’s a monster with a mission no less. Even with the limits brought about by rotting flesh and exposed bones, characteristics that part 7 spared no attention to detail, Jason overcomes these difficulties to pursue his vengeance. This is also the only time where rage seemed to appropriately fit the character; he was trapped at the bottom of a lake for an undisclosed amount of time and that obviously pissed Jason off. The features of part 7 Jason fascinated me in my youth, and that fascination has carried over into my adult years. That’s why I found that spending 50 bucks on this toy was wholly justified. If there’s any major reason why I think this toy is great it has to be due to the unique appearance that also spares no attention to detail…

A Mangled Mask and Rusty Chain

Throughout the series Jason’s mask is often altered. Sometimes there are three of those red markers on it; sometimes there’s only one; and sometimes there are alterations made beyond just the placement of red stickers; part 7 is one of those instances. Part 3 which created the staple ax slash to the mask that pretty much remained constant in the films, part 7 also respected continuity by breaking away part of the mask where Jason took a boat motor fan to the neck in part 6.

This is the kind of shit that makes Friday the 13th fans giddy like disemboweled school-girls. The few moments of continuity contained in these movies are rare but they are modest components that strengthen the idea of Friday the 13th as a series instead of individual episodes.

And incidentally while we’re on the topic of part 7 continuity, Jason also retains the big rusty chain that the Friday the 13th supporting and supposed hero character Tommy Jarvis puts around his neck at the end of part 6.

This is yet another great element concerning continuity, and as you can see the toy chain included with the figure has gone as far to contain rust spots. But I should also inform you that even though part 7 and its toy go great lengths to show respect to earlier films, not all continuity is a good thing. Part 7 had the broken mask and chain, but they made sure not to resurrect Tommy Jarvis. He's the character who killed Jason in part 4 (played by Corey Feldman), went crazy in part 5, and drowned Jason in part 6. That’s one recurring element of early Friday the 13th movies that was appropriately put to an end when this film came out. I can’t help but sense however that in some rundown Ramada Inn room filled with empty Hot Pocket boxes and old issues of Tiger Beat magazine from 1986-88, there sits a desperate Corey Feldman pathetically planning his big comeback into mainstream media with his latest script treatment: Friday the 13th: The Revenge of Tommy Jarvis. Please God, if you are merciful in any way you won’t let that happen.

Jason’s Decomposed Body

Zombie Jason definitely has the edge over human Jason when it comes to the levels of grotesqueness involved in Jason’s appearance. He’s a zombie. Zombies look gross. And part 7 zombie Jason has the edge over all other zombie Jasons; his entire body is beautifully detailed with maggot ravaged flesh.

The figure comes with a full rubber body suit that shows some of the finer decomposed parts of part 7 Jason’s body. And it has also includes a representation of what for some reason I find to be a magnificent feat in the world of prosthetic decayed body suits: Jason’s dislocated kneecap. Seriously in part 7 there’s a shot that shows Jason walking and his kneecap is shown shifting and moving exactly the way a rotting patella should on a zombified body. I can’t really offer you any reasonable explanation to why I find that so amazing, but I just do. Thus the part 7 figure gets points for making sure to show it off.

In order to appreciate the Jason of part 7 you have appreciate all of him; not just what’s hidden under the mask. This is the only film that gives Jason’s entire body a special effects make-over. So with such attention to mangled rib cages, decayed spinal columns, and shifting kneecaps, Jason’s face better have some serious pay-off…and it does. Prepare yourself for…

One Ugly Mother Fuckin’ Jason Face

If I was mesmerized by a deteriorated kneecap when I was a kid, imagine how close I came to shitting myself the first time I saw this fugly gnarled son-of-a-bitch pop up on a television screen. After I saw this when I was around 10 years old it was all I thought about for several weeks; and during that time no matter what kind of conversations I was having with my fellow fifth graders, the topic would eventually evolve into Jason Voorhees’ face at the end of Friday the 13th part 7. Some people might think this Jason is a little over the top appearance wise, but I still argue it just works in part 7 and is the best look to date for zombie Jason. Along with part 4, the 7 face was a product of dedicated conception and construction. There was a lot of time put into this creation, and people notice and respect that kind of stuff. If part 8 would have had an equally enthusiastic approach to making a Jason face I would have forgiven most of its terrible content: even that part where Jason gets into a boxing match and punches off his opponent’s head which then rolls into a dumpster (I wish I was making that up).

In addition to being the most complexly gross Jason face, there’s also further respect to Friday the 13th continuity. The ax slash is there, but there’s also Jason’s head-splitting machete wound from part 4; they’ve even shown how Jason lost his eyeball due to the attack on his skull. Awesome. Part 7 doesn’t forget its roots even with a complete Jason overhaul. Take a hint all you unworthy bastards contemplating the creation of a new Friday movie, that especially includes you Michael “I’m responsible for the movie Armageddon ‘nuff said” Bay. If you’re going to destroy the franchise with your poisonous influence at least give the fans a respectful looking Jason. I’d probably be satisfied if the new movie just shows still images of the part 7 toy compared to the desecration that will take place at the hands of Michael Bay.

So as a zombie, Jason shines in part 7. As for a zombie Jason toy, part 7 is the best bet…for now. It’ll be hard to beat the levels of decay, mask mutilation, and super powers that this Jason brings to the table of Friday the 13th character evolution and respect to continuity; and it’s also the best way to show Jason’s dedication, even when his legs are starting to rot off at the knee. Oh yeah, there’s one more thing I should mention about this toy and why it’s perfect for the display of zombie Jason adoration:

Part 7 Jason gets head-butted and temporarily taken out by a telekinetically propelled flower pot which holds a decapitated head. Now you’d think a supernaturally motivated being like Jason would not be thwarted by such an attack, and normally you’d be right; but remember when I discussed the large of amounts of continuity contained in part 7 earlier in the article? This moment is referring to the age of human Jason - it was outta respect… Or maybe it was just a really stupid idea. I’m going with respect.

The Final Paragraph

If you couldn’t tell already, I used the excuse of reviewing Jason Voorhees toys as a means to talk about Friday the 13th films. Consider the article a half and half deal: half movie review, half toy review. This will probably happen from time to time when discussing toys based off of movies. As for selecting a proper Jason toy this article does have its merits: mainly that if you like part 4 or part 7 you’ve earned my respect, and you’ve also shown that you have learned exactly what it takes to start your own serial murdering spree. Otherwise, I hope that part 8 Jason figure you’re waiting patiently to pre-order gets crushed by a careless UPS employee while being shipped. Part 4 and 7 Jasons are laughing at you under their masks:

Click to go to part 1 of this article.